Birth Shaming

No matter where you go, everyone who sees you are pregnant has their story to tell you about how amazing or horrifying their birthing experience was. The first time around this was super odd to me but didn't really bother me that much. Now after I have had my first son via C-Section, I find that more often than not when people tell me their birthing stories, about how "beautiful and natural" their experience was and then ask me about mine with my son, and they find out it was a CS they start "birth shaming" me.

Seriously, what the heck. I am all for going it the natural way, and if you want to do it with no epidural or anything else then- damn props to you with a high five, and a party dance. I didn't do it that way, but my experience was pretty dang awesome, and my child was happy and very healthy.... so can someone tell me what I should be shamed for?

While it was not really a choice for me to have a CS the first time, he was breech, this time it is - and I agreed to schedule it the same way - and I am sooo okay with that. I am baffled to why people think they can try to shame me because of how I am having my child. You did not carry this child for 9 months, you are not planning on raising it sooo go fly a kite. Again, I am super proud of my friends who have had their children naturally, you are amazing and I can't speak enough about how awesome I think you are, but that is not how I had my son, or how I plan on having this one... soooo why do people think their rant to me in the line at the post office about how I am less of a good parent for having a CS is going to change my decision...

Hospital Bag List

Since this is my second go around on the Mommy Merry Go 'Round - I am going to put up my hospital back list on what I plan on bringing this time around. I know the internet is saturated with these lists, fully equipped with photos... that is not going to be this list.

My C-Section Hospital Bag List

• Toiletries
• Sensitive Body Wash
• Shampoo
• Conditioner
• Lotion
• Toothbrush and paste
• Face Cleanser wipes
• BlowDryer
• Hair Brush
• Hair Ties - Multiple bands cause you know they get lost while you are sleeping.
• aside from the hair ties I also plan on brining a hairband - headband to keep my hair pulled back for when I am feeding
• My Makeup bag -
• the essentials of my makeup bag are pretty small - face lotion, tinted moisturizer, Blush, mascara and concealer.  - I keep it simple, especially in the hospital no need to bring the whole nine yards.
• Cell Charger
• Last time I think I brought the iPad but this will change to the Laptop.
• Cell phone - for the quick pic and to start the recording of feedings and diapers.
• Last time I brought some of our own diapers and wipes as well - although I know the hospital provides these while you are there for the lil guy.
• I also came prepared with Pads. 
• The ones the hospital provides are Awesome but bulky so just incase I brought my own - I will do this again - I happen to like the Kotex Extra Long super absorbent. 
• Since I am having a scheduled C-Section I advise others to bring a nursing nightgown, not the shorts/pant top combo. 
• The reason for this is simple, after the section they have pressure cuffs on your legs and long story short its just a whole mess... go with the night gown.
• Nursing Bras
• My going home clothes
• the baby's going home clothes.
• Lanolin Cream

I may have forgotten some things. but this is really the gist of it - I won't be bringing my own pump -Plan on renting one from the hospital....

So thats it really - I know that other lists tell you to bring change for the hospital vending machines, and what not but really.... In between the hospital food, and my family and friends stopping by with snacks just to see the new edition - hospital vending machine food was the last thing on the list of stuff I had to worry about.

I hope this helps someone else - but this is definitely what will be in my bag for the hospital. 

Mom Game

I acknowledge that I openly say how those moms that have it "all together" and make all the crafty stuff at home.... drive me crazy..... but during this time of the year I have an urge to try to step up my mom game.... Its the holidays....

So I would like to share with you what I did to make myself feel like I was a "crafty mom".

Two things ...

1. I made "frosted Cranberries"  or sugar berries.... essentially they are just cranberries covered in sugar but they look like they are covered in snow... sweet and tart... plus they are super easy to make....  If anyone actually reads this... just comment below and let me know if you want the recipe  and I will post it

2. Since it is christmas season it is also Tamale Season... not as easy to do as the cranberries, but its a family project...... this is more of a family recipe so sorry can't share...

So ... just two things that make me feel like i have it more together than i probably do.

Sleep deprivation

Sometime between the second and third trimester you begin to experience the awesomeness of being unable to sleep. You get uncomfortable, are having shortness of breath, or as soon as you get to that sleepy place your bundle of joy starts doing the lambada or you have to pee...

I have come to view this as the boot camp stage of being pregnant. Largely due to the fact that I recall being in a state of functional sleep deprivation right after I had my son. You learn to function on twenty minute intervals of sleep, and its easier to do because your lil one has trained you.

Essentially your child spends the last couple of months sleep training you into functional insomnia, and you spend the next several months after birth trying to sleep train them into sleeping through the night.

All in all though, I may complain about it now, but I will be thankful for the sleep training soon. Because if I recall, the adjustment wasn't horrible, and when you get that first night of 6-8 hours of sleep.... omg its like the lottery....

Just remember, its just training for later - and you will appreciate it.

Adding "Mom" to my list of names...

Let’s just put it out there— being pregnant is weird. Your body starts to change in ways you didn’t expect. Your boobs are growing and they look great, but OUCH. You’ve become a superhuman with only one power, the ability to smell anything and everything within a 100 foot radius. And is this extra weight from the baby? Or are you just eating too much? But the weirdest thing of all is realizing that for roughly 9 months… you are… never… alone.

I’m totally already in love with the little lemon-sized alien in my belly, but it’s all so strange. The idea that someone will one day soon be calling me “mom.” Do I deserve that title yet? All I did was get it on with my husband. How does that qualify me to be a mom?

I know these thoughts are not mine alone. Many of us feel overwhelmed or scared at the thought of becoming a parent. Especially if it was not planned. Fortunately, I had been trying for about 6 months when I found out I was pregnant, so it was an occasion of hugs and happy tears. But that is not always the case. So how do we soon-to-be moms deal with and prepare ourselves for such a huge commitment? How do we rehearse this role of a lifetime we’ve been cast in?

Well… hell if I know. 

I plan on figuring it out along the way, and not reading too many parenting books or articles in the meantime. Sometimes too much information is bad information. I personally don’t want my natural motherly instincts to be overloaded with everyone else’s opinions (because lord knows, people have plenty). I know I’ll make a lot of mistakes, but I don’t expect to be the perfect mom or have perfect kids, and I’m trying to just be ok with that.

So good luck to all of my fellow first-time-mommies out there, as we embark on this journey together, jumping in head first to a change and a love we can’t even begin to imagine. Try not to let the pressure of other seemingly "perfect moms" out there stress you out. You're doing just fine. All that worry isn't any good for that baby in your belly anyways. Stop, breathe, and dammit, eat that bowl of ice cream if you want to. Salad can wait for another day.

-Jenny

Not the "Perfect Mom", but Im trying..

Okay so, background.... Go!

I was the first one of my friends to have a child, so most of what I gathered with regards to being a mom came from what random people told me - which was essentially horror stories, and what I read on "Mom Blogs". The overall theme on the Mom Blogs I read online was "I am not perfect", but yet read about my workout routine I do every day, look at the amazing outings I take my kid on, and see the well balanced meals I made for my family of five.... It's daunting to read things like this, leaving me stressing about how am I going to be able to be that kind of mom, the super mom that gets everything done and still has time to hang with my friends.

Fast forward about two years, and I have come to the conclusion that those blogs that make being a mom seem like you need it all together all the time are lying to you. Working on number two, I now have a better idea of what to expect - keeping in mind that now everyone is telling me "every pregnancy is different" - yea I have already figured that one out.

Luckily enough, my best friend and I are two weeks apart on our due dates! So this time around we have one another to lean on!

In a conversation we had over the phone I had mentioned my issues with the Blogs I read while pregnant the first time, and she (Jenny) said we should make our own blog - and here we are. She is a first time mom, and I am working on number two, states away from each other but still able to rely on one another.

I am probably far away from being regarded as a perfect mom. You will never catch me in a dress wearing pearls and mopping/vacuuming the house while dinner cools for the family. but I do my best to make sure my family eats right, and is active and happy. So, perfect? - No, but I am your average mom just trying to find a way to make it to tomorrow so I can rewind and do it all over again... a Perpetual Parenting Groundhog Day....